That Pure-Love Moment? Time to Let It Go, For Better or For Worse
There was a pure-love moment. When everything was right. It was right because it was easy. It took no planning, no forethought. In every relationship there is a period of, let’s say, two years, where everything just works! Waking up in bliss. Pure love and total trust. Deep heart feelings, the likes of which you could have only dreamed of. A bonding. A couplehood. A secret smile across a room. The feeling that you are the lucky ones! Checking in with each other a hundred times a day seems totally normal! Certain that this level of commitment would never in a million years be laid asunder.
Isn’t this the reason we enter into long term relationships? To be our true selves, loved for who we are and who we are not?
Then the day came when he didn’t come home. The explanation seemed creaky.
Not wanting to believe the signals that he was sleeping with someone else. The physical rejection, the “what’s wrong with me?” happens first. We may spend months or years gathering the evidence that we cannot stand gathering. Rather than wife, girlfriend or Significant Other, our new title becomes The Evidence Gatherer. Then, The Confronter. We abhor these roles.
Like a pinprick, the air balloon of love we both had travelled in for all those carefree years comes in for a hard landing: the realization that all the big plans made when we lived on spaghetti in a hot apartment will not be taking place.
Emotional pain becomes our main relationship. A circumstance we must live through. We have to go it alone and be okay with it. And so, that is exactly what we do. For worse? Quite the contrary. For better lives we all so richly deserve.
