Relationship Expiration Dates

The thing you never check for until it’s too late

Why the constant hunt for expiration dates on food products? Can’t they all be uniformly located in the same place? Let’s say, the bottom. The bottom of every single thing that we buy will have a clearly marked expiration date. We will not have to go on this yogurt cup hunt and this potato chip minefield. And then also alot of the time they are all different sizes. Some of these expiration dates are as tiny as the head of a pin.

Can’t they all just be big? Big enough for the human eye to see? For someone with 20–20 vision to be able to instantly spot it? Can’t they all just be in bright bright red so we can all see it?

No they can’t. Why can’t they? Because they want to count on the fact that we are too busy to look. If we were to stop on our major grocery runs and look at the expiration date of every single item that we bought, we would be making decisions to buy the ones with the farthest away expiration date!

It’s kind of like the opposite of when middle aged men go out shopping for a woman to cheat on their wives with. They actually want the one with the newest expiration date, not the oldest.

That’s kind of how relationships with men and women go. Whereas women don’t mind someone with an expiration that…