Mid-Life Divorce Means Choosing A New “Destiny”
Putting a stop to Life-Choice freak outs
Now that you are divorced and starting over, do you ever think about your New Destiny? When we are young, we feel like we are destined to do certain things. We are destined to be a gymnast, we are destined to be married and have 3 kids, we are destined to have this career, and live in this sort of neighborhood with these sort of friends.
With hard work and boatloads of self-motivation, all of these things do indeed come to pass. We partner-up, we have our kids, careers, nearby park, neighborhood church, corner store. Our destined Life Routines, just like we planned!
But when the divorce happens and the hurt happens, we find ourselves living from day-to-day. For years. No longer feeling we are in charge, we tell ourselves, “I just want to get through the next 24 hours before I make any big decisions.” For years. Too beaten down and sad to even consider figuring out a New Destiny. That word conjured up from our youthful soul that we were so proud of focusing on, has completely fallen out of our mid-life vocabulary. For years.
But for years doesn’t mean forever!
What happened to the concept of your destiny? The one you so successfully fulfilled. Why haven’t you been purposely living out the path toward a new one? Perhaps it’s a concept we all need to ponder more, because the amount of time to achieve it is growing shorter. The tack of, “I’m not going to pressure myself about it” is not what needs to happen.
None of us should waste a single day dwelling on the achieved destinies that are no more. If you are feeling lost, think about the dreams that you’ve had and realize your destiny cannot be an amorphus thing happening 25 years in the future.
Today’s your destiny. Yep, it already is your destiny so you better really take charge. What’re you going to do tomorrow? What are you destined to do by the end of this week, this month, this year?
“What Is My Destiny Now?” asks your Can’t Sleep In the Middle of the Night self.
There are no books on middle agers choosing their brand new destinies. Where the heck do you even start? It feels overwhelming, because it is. It’s like you’ve been a runner all of your life and one day someone tells you to get in a cockpit and fly a plane like it’s no big deal. When to us, it’s the biggest deal ever. A life decision we never planned on having to make. It feels like we are being forced to pressure ourselves into making a big decision.
In this world we inhabit, the word “pressure” can be overhwelming. Let’s replace the word with Motivate. As in, “I’m going to motivate myself to choose my new destiny.” Doesn’t that just sound so much easier? Good!
